Love Spells

I have been a member of several online social networking sites (read: internet dating sites) for some time now. One thing that never ceases to amaze me is the vast diversity in spelling of seemingly familiar words. I'm not really surprised when people have difficulty spelling unfamiliar or particularly difficult words. I mean, I'm not even sure if I'm ever spelling pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis correctly. That means the average person might not know if he or she is ever spelling a word like 'receive' correctly. I usually have to stop and think about that one, too.

What I find interesting is that the word being misspelled is so familiar that this person really should know better. Here are a few real examples of what I am talking about:

technition - Now, I had to stop and think about this one for a second. The word looked different at first, and I couldn't place my finger on what was weird about it. Then it hit me. The word is "Technician." I then did a google search to see if "technition" was possibly some new tech-savvy position... posician... Much to my relief it replied, "Did you mean: technician" Again, alarming to me, were the number of uses of this non-word. Many of them were in reference to jobs. Not only by the people looking for information about said employment, but also by companies looking for *cringe* technitions. One useful application of this word could be incorporated into some kind of an R&B hit by R Kelly, "Technition (Remix)"

cosmotologist - Here's another one. The first thing I thought when I saw this was, "if this is your profession, wouldn't you know how to spell your title correctly?" Apparently not. I can think of a couple of reasons why a stylist might choose to be considered a "cosmotologist." The first has to do with a specialty of recreating styles and cuts from the popular women's magazine, "Cosmopolitan." Perhaps, clients will show up and say they want the haircut that's on page 356 of the March 2007 Cosmo. A properly trained cosmotologist could reproduce such a thing without having to consult the magazine. The second is a reference to the cosmos. From such a root we get words like cosmonaut, cosmologist, and, surprisingly, cosmetics and cosmetologist. But, while the root is the same in the Greek, referring to arrangement or order, I'm supposing that it has more to do with the more recent reference to outer space. It should be pretty obvious where I'm going with this, so I won't go any farther than saying this: Cosmotologists are obviously responsible for many hair crimes against nature.

haircute - If you have any of the above referenced haircuts, you did not just receive a haircute, you received a hairuglyashell. Apparently, the people who use this word forgot one of the lessons of reading where the 'e' comes around and bites the vowel to make it say "oo!"

cuttie - This is one I see a lot. It's basically the opposite problem of the last one. It reminds me of "cutting" and, that is not something I think is very attractive. So, when I see a profile for "UtahCuttie4U" I run. Run so far away.

martial status - This one is my favorite dating site flub. Perhaps the reason you're single is because you think marriage is martial. Or because you signed up for a Karate class thinking it was a marital art.

As I come across and remember more of these, I'll do another installment. For now, what are some of your favorite misspellings?