Okay, these are some thoughts that I have had stewing in my head for some time. If you don't agree, deal with it.
Women under the age of 25 should not be allowed to name their own children. The demand for therapists in the next 15-25 years will explode due to all of the people named "Nautica," "Mattix," "Apple," "Easton" (named after the manufacturer of arrow shafts and baseball bats), "Miller Lite," "Microsoft," "Voting Machine," "Peter Lemonjello," and everyone listed on this website.
Pets are imaginary friends for grown-ups.
So is the "paranormal." (Yeah, that's my brother's website...)
Really. They are both examples of anthropomorphism.
2008-05-19
Dollar Cuts
Yesterday, browsing through the Sunday paper advertising circulars, I was filled with disbelief at what I saw. No, it wasn't the home shredder nor was it the latest "collectible" from the Franklin Mint. The Dollar Tree has brought us delicately priced delicacies: 4 oz frozen steaks for $1.
Now the company you turn to when you don't care enough to go to Hallmark for greeting cards is selling steaks. This is clearly for the consumer who likes the flavor of meat on the way down and on the way back up.
I can only understand this in terms of Dollar Tree's need to move other goods. They must have a huge surplus (someone mistakenly ordering 1,500,000 cases instead of 150,000) of either Moderately Soft brand toilet paper or the dollar-sized bottles of Imodium AD.
Or, it just occured to me that this is the Atkins diet meets bulimia: not only is it carb-free, it will purge your system for at least a week.
In light of the recent e-coli outbreaks in meat products being distributed, you won't see me running to the nearest Dollar Tree to load up on these bite-sized dandies. I could stand to lose a few pounds, however. . . Somehow I think that an hour every day on the bike at the gym is less torturous.
Now the company you turn to when you don't care enough to go to Hallmark for greeting cards is selling steaks. This is clearly for the consumer who likes the flavor of meat on the way down and on the way back up.
I can only understand this in terms of Dollar Tree's need to move other goods. They must have a huge surplus (someone mistakenly ordering 1,500,000 cases instead of 150,000) of either Moderately Soft brand toilet paper or the dollar-sized bottles of Imodium AD.
Or, it just occured to me that this is the Atkins diet meets bulimia: not only is it carb-free, it will purge your system for at least a week.
In light of the recent e-coli outbreaks in meat products being distributed, you won't see me running to the nearest Dollar Tree to load up on these bite-sized dandies. I could stand to lose a few pounds, however. . . Somehow I think that an hour every day on the bike at the gym is less torturous.
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